In the early years of your childhood, like many of us, you were programmed to not feel okay about who you were. This was never intentional but simply the same programming your parents received when they were growing up. Your parents may have been emotionally unavailable, full of fear and misunderstanding, neglectful and if they had been abused as children may have done the same things to you.
Hopefully they were good parents but even then they may have passed messages about life to you that have falsely shaded how you see the world.
The past is in the past - no blame intended here. As best as you can - forgive and be present to life.
Unfortunately much of what you learned over your first few years still shapes your day-to-day experiences. Unless you become aware of these lessons-in-limits you too often continue blindly acting, thinking and believing as you were taught to do.
This is why being self-aware is essential to creating the kind of life you want. Otherwise you simply live out the limits of what you learned.
Five Useful Ways To Set Yourself Free
Here are five useful ways to move on from the limits of years of parental and social programming:
1. All feelings are okay even though you may have been told differently. Respect and accept all the feelings you feel. Treat all emotions inside of you with compassionate understanding. Judging your feelings as not okay is learned behavior. That is not useful in any way to judge your feelings.
When you make any feelings not okay you make self-love very difficult. Self-love grows out of respecting how you feel.
2. Go inward and regularly question your own internal conversations and why you do what you do. Like many of the rest of us you were taught to do as you were told, to not question authority, to be quiet and stay out of the way. These false teachings still dictate how you do things.
The more you bring the light of self-awareness into your thoughts, behaviors, ideas, opinions and beliefs, the more you break free from the extensive conditioning you received. You are not your past, your thoughts or your programming. You are unlimited.
3. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself. When you do that you reprogram yourself. Move towards silencing the inner critic, and away from living up to other people’s expectations. Those are learned as important but they are not.
The most important voices you need to listen to are the quiet wisdom of your heart and higher nature.
4. Stop doing anything that doesn’t feel good. Yes, some thing we have to do and some things have to be, done but most of life is optional. You may not remember that you are in charge of the life you create.
If you don’t like your life, suspect the programming and move into action to make things more and more the way you want them to be.
5. One more way to free yourself is to take time throughout your day to appreciate yourself as you are, appreciate moments of insight and awareness, see the beauty around you, enjoy what is, and look for the many hidden blessings of life.
Living in appreciation is very uplifting and bound to create more things in life to be grateful for.
Let me know how useful these are for you and how I can assist you to move past old stuck programming, old destructive emotional patterns and into a freer expression of who you are.
PS. I just returned from a very interesting conference on science and consciousness and am filled with inspiring ideas sure to influence what I share with you over the next few months. There is a video I highly recommend everyone to see from the Ted Talks series. The speaker is Gabor Mate’ M.D. He was at the conference and spoke so clearly about the human journey that I had to share it with you.