The evening chill began to descend around the lake. I appreciated that I had the walk to myself. I wanted to walk in awareness and to connect to a deeper knowing me. I have been trying to understand why the efforts I was putting into several projects was not coming along as I had hoped. I was looking at the results of my efforts and wondering what I needed to change. Now it comes to me as I write. I have this underlying belief that I am not enough in some way. I need to be something more my inner voice whispers rather parent like. Ah ha! That part of me is never satisfied with the person I am. This I unfortunately learned growing up but I can change that now. With awareness, I can see that part of me more clearly. I can see that the critic in me is the source of the stomach tightness I feel when I am in fear around finances or other concerns. There is in me a tendency towards self-judgment and away from self-love.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Or am I the only one who experiences self-doubt?
In awareness, I understand myself better then I did before. In awareness I have more insight into what is getting in my way and what is opening me to success. I make a clear choice to take a stand that I am enough, that I do deserve what I want, and that it is ok to have the life I desire. By the way, desire is good. Desire is an inner message to be more and go for more in life. Desire is a call to stretch myself beyond my comfort zone. My desires are ok because they push me toward realizing a better life.
Awareness also helps me to understand that I have room to grow and yet I can be ok with who I am now. In this moment I can experience myself as the best I can be. In the next moment I can be even more. I can actually learn to appreciate myself in each moment. Self-appreciation feels good.
Back to where I started. This old belief that I am not enough is learned and I am deciding to change it today. With awareness of what is going on in my thinking, I can make other choices and create better beliefs that work for me. Some beliefs are easy to change and others need to be worked on. I have cleared away the debris of limiting beliefs on this one and I feel good progress has been made.
Are there parts of you that need the light of awareness shed on them? Look at an area where you are not getting the results you want. Get to the root of the situation. When we nourish and care for our roots we produce better fruits. Make sure your thoughts and beliefs support you and your goals.