Do You Believe In Yourself?

Most people have problems with low self-esteem.  I have counseled people for over 30 years and I have consistently found that people have serious doubts about themselves.   I have not seen any studies of percentage of those with low self-esteem.   My educated guess would be at least 90-95 % of people in this country would benefit from having a more positive self-esteem.  You might wonder where does this poor sense of self come from?

Low self-esteem comes from:
•    If you were around people with low sense of self-worth, then you learned to also be that way.
•    If you part of a religious belief system that emphasized that you were a bad person then you learned you were not ok.
•    If you were part of a school system that had failure as a possibility then many learned to think they were not smart or not ok because they didn’t get A’s or B’s.
•    If you were abused physically, mentally, emotionally or sexually in any way then you felt like something was wrong with you and you deserved the abuse.
•    If you had parents with drugs or alcohol problems or with mental health issues then you got very confusing messages and interpreted them to mean there was something not right about you.
•    If your models in your childhood were negative and fearful then you became like them.
•    If you were raised in a time of war or major disturbances like hurricanes then you may have had such trauma that you don’t ever feel ok about yourself or the world.
•    If you were raised in a tight societal structure with too much control place on you then you are filled with self-doubt.  

There are other influences in our upbringing but the above gives you some ideas about the negative influences that may have shaped your sense of self.   

You might wonder is there anything you can do to raise self-esteem?  The answer is “yes there is.”  Here are some ideas:

•    One of the best ways to raise your self-esteem is to start paying attention to your thoughts and self-talk.  If your thoughts are negative and your self-talk is critical than you need to change your thoughts and how you talk to yourself.   I have written about self-talk in my April 9th blog.
•    Another way to have a more positive self-esteem is to accept yourself just as you are.  You and I are full of judgment about who we are and what we do.  Begin today to accept and appreciate yourself; anything less is just old programming in the way.
•    Find a counselor or coach to help you work on self-esteem.  Almost everyone I know including myself would benefit from the help of a professional to validate who I am and assist me to raise my sense of self.
•    Explore your emotions; get to know what you feel.   The more you understand you emotional landscape and are ok with what you feel, the better your self-esteem will be.
•    Stop being so critical of yourself and others.  A very critical point of view is hardest on you.  Lighten up, don’t take yourself so seriously.
•    Quit believing in sin, original sin, feeling guilty, hell and heaven and all these beliefs that have no basis in reality.  These ideas are human ideas and they don’t represent the positive possibilities that you are.
•    Take good care of your body and you will feel better about yourself.  A healthy, well cared for body will make you feel good about yourself.  
•    Seek to be an aware and conscious human being.  The more you pay attention to who you are and the world around you, the more you are awake and alert to the higher wisdom in you and in the universe.  
•    Mediation is a powerful practice that will make you more aware of your expanded nature.  Sitting quietly allows you to tune into you inner wisdom and helps you believe in yourself.  Walk your own spiritual path.
•    Spend time listening in and discover your purpose and what makes you feel passionate about life.  Living passionately and with a clear mission in life will make you feel postive about you.

There is more I can add here but this is a good start.  If you have questions and need a boost in self-esteem, drop me a line and I will gladly send you some ideas that meet your specific needs.  I can be reached at

Whatever happened in the past is over.  Now, in this moment, it is up to you to raise your sense of self.  If you do you will be able have the life you want to create.