Notes To The World, Part 13, You Are A Social Being

Your life is about being in relationships with others.  As a social being you feel the need to interact with people.  Some interactions are nurturing and healthy, others more surface, and some may even seem toxic to you.  You can thrive in relationships or struggle.  There are key components to being successful at have healthy and meaningful relationships.  Relationships can greatly enrich your life.

What is your history of relationships like?  Do you have real friends and people you can count on?  Do you tend to spend most of your time alone and is that ok?  Are you good at setting limits in your relationships?  Is your heart open?  Do you have unfinished business about past relationships? These are just a few questions that may help you look you as a social being.

What are the most important components of successful relationships?  The first one is having an open heart.  You need an open heart to find relationships that have an open heart for you.  Yes you probably have friends that complain they have open hearts but can’t find love.  This may be true but most likely these friends have conditional hearts where they are willing to love only if certain conditions are met.   An open heart loves without conditions.  An open heart is vulnerable and that may feel risky at times but this openness is essential.

There are a number of relationships in your life that do not require a fully open heart which would be enhance by opening your heart more.  At work, in business, with friends an open heart signals you are available for a quality relationship with all those you interact with.  You can have an open heart and set clear boundaries and they will be respected.  

The second component is a willingness to listen.  Your willingness to listen is about you already have the ability to listen and are you willing to do so from of place of compassion.  Compassionate listening is very engaging because you are there for another and for the relationship you share.  When you listen with compassion your agenda is being fully present in a caring way.  Everyone appreciates being listened to in this way. 

Most listening is more waiting for the other person to finish so you can then talk.  This kind of listening is too superficial and unrewarding.  Relationships need compassionate listening if they are to survive.  There are many business type relationships that can work for a time on the surface but they can’t be counted on.

Another necessary component for building relationships that matter to you is the ability to tune into both yourself and others as a way to deepen the connection.  Tuning in means being able to both sense your own intuitive knowing and the mental/emotional space of another.  Relationships affect each other and to be tuned in means you are aware of these affects both internally and with those you are in connecting with.  This inner knowing and outer radar is helpful if you want to take a relationship deeper.  Getting lost in love has its place but tuning in will take it further and deeper. 

Two other components seem important to mention.  These are being genuine and honest.  Building relationships on being genuinely who you are is very important.  If you play roles, hide behind masks, or do what you do to seek approval in your relationships, these relationships will not last because they will take too much energy to maintain.  Being who you are is more than enough to have meaningful relationships with others. 

Honesty is also important.  This does not mean you have to share every thought or be brutally honest.  Honesty is being open with who you are, living by your relationship agreements, not sneaking around, and speaking your truth with kindness.  Respect your relationships enough to be honest and they will be honest in return.

I commit to be open in my heart, listen with compassion, tune in to another and myself, being genuinely myself and honest in my relationships.  Would you join me and together we can create relationships that will enrich the world.