No-Doubt Peaceful Warrior
I have been bothered by self-doubt most of my life. I thank the 12 years of Catholic Schools as one of the major contributors to this deeply rooted lack of belief in myself. At the base of this belief runs a mixture of ideas that there is something not okay about who I am.
First off I want to say, I know this old message is a bunch of mind-noise BS but that doesn’t stop it from rising inside of me from time-to-time.
Through years of personal introspection and my work as a mental health professional, I have come to understand that the ego-mind uses self-doubt as a way to remain in charge. If thoughts of self-doubt are consistently part of my psyche, I am more readily under the control of my ego.
Ego does what it thinks will keep you and I safe. As you may know the ego runs a tight ship and fear is its guiding force. If I doubt myself, I play the game of life carefully. I do my best to not stand out. I avoid controversy. Does any of this ring-a-bell for you?
I love and accept my ego-mind. It is only doing what it is wired to do. I however, have access to more expanded states of being including my heart, my higher consciousness/wise mind, my intuition, and the voice of my soul.
When I hear the voice of doubt within, I can instead turn towards the infinite possibilities of my higher mind, my heart and my soul. I can live in expansion not contraction. I can be expressive instead of cautious. I can rise above my ordinary mind and be guided by higher consciousness.
Lately as I have been traveling the road of a major life transition, I keep on bumping up against a reoccurring set of questions and ideas. These questions and ideas pertain to an ongoing dilemma I feel inside. That dilemma is that I am both of this world and a spiritual being.
The “of this world” part of me is very much a social critic of what needs to change for a better world. I feel driven to make a difference.
As a spiritual being, I am a lover of life and believe in the importance of a positive mindset (inspired by Eckhart Tolle, the Abraham/Hicks’ perspective, Positive Psychology and Eastern Wisdom and other uplifting and optimistic points of view.) I want to bring positive intention and attention to my difference making.
When I see things both as personality and spirit I am able to see what is not okay, acknowledge it and bring my higher capacities to engage in being a positive force in creating a better world.
What do I mean when I say, ”no-doubt peaceful warrior.” My sense is that this idea can serve as a guiding principle for me to live in the world.
My understanding is that I want to step past the doubt through mindful awareness and go about my work as a peaceful warrior. I speak up for what matters. I do so with the best frame of mind and the ongoing realization that we are all connected.
What ultimately matters is being true to myself. Then self-doubt is less an influence. Being true to self means I respect my own deeper understandings, my intuition, my reading of situations, and my desire to express myself in meaningful ways.
When I respect and appreciate who I am, I can serve others in positive and expansive ways. As a no-doubt peaceful warrior I trust my ability to make a difference and I walk the path of service with passion and purpose.
Parting of being a healthy person is the life-long exploring of what life presents to us.
What ways does self-doubt or other inner messages trip you up?
How can I be of assistance in supporting your strong and positive responses to the challenges you face?
ps.I have some recent posts at my blog you will find very interesting. Checkout the one about walking meditation and why it may be perfect for you.
pps. just wanted to remind you, that you are awesome and I would love to hear how you are doing.
3 Comments
Reader Comments (3)
Hi Joseph - thank you for your inspiring and personal blog ... it's so good to hear about the challenges other people face on the path to spiritual wholeness. I suffer a lot from self-doubt too in the form of the recurring thought that I am "not good enough" and so I work too hard, try to please others too hard and generally give myself a hard time in the hope that I will someday become acceptable. Meh! Not a good way to live. But I am becoming aware of why I am this way and how I can find more positive ways of seeing myself and relating to others. It's a lot of unravelling, but I'm hopeful!
How can you help? Please keep writing what you write and being who you are and supporting us with your words of wisdom :)
It makes me feel connected that others feel the same way I do. I went to my boyfriends office party yesterday and while driving there I was ruminating about how I wanted to be sure to make a good impression with his boss, I always have this feeling that Im not good enough or interesting enough. Or something not enough... Anyway It was a great party and I felt very good about myself. I just relaxed and filled myself with positive thoughts. I had a wonderful time and I know I made a good impression but most importantly, I held my own, met some nice new people and was genuinely myself which no one can take away from me. I can't wait to learn more from you!
Thanks Paula for the thoughtfulness of you exploration. You are a bright light, all you have to do is focus on your heart and listen to you intuitive and soul's guidance. I have over 1500 posts packed with great ideas that seem to come through my writing and my exploration of life. Enjoy and keep in touch.