Dads In Our Lives

The trip to Oregon to visit with may family and celebrate my Dad’s 80th birthday has been fun and way too fast.  In the size of family I come from, I needed much more time to interact and find out how they are all doing.  It seems everyone is doing well but there has not been enough time to really check-in with each other.  

Yesterday was Father’s day so I got to thinking about the influence our dad’s have on our lives.  My dad had a lot of influence in kind of an opposite kind of way.  He was a very busy guy supporting a family of six children.  He also was very involved in his community and active in many organizations.  He was so busy, he had very little time to spend having fun with his family.  He comes from a very strong religious upbringing and has a conservative point of view politically.  All of this is who he is, I have no negative judgment about my dad.

I watch my dad as I grew up and I saw a busy, stressed, and not very engaged father.  I ended up having no children of my own although I have spent most of my adult life as a therapist helping to re-parent adults.  I have never joined any of the organization my dad was a member of because they seem to take up time I valued for myself.  Work has never been an obsession for me.  My political views are on the other end of the spectrum and yet we have more common ground then most would guess.  My dad dislikes war, he has a very charitable desire to help people, he dislikes the way things are in Washington DC.  He knows there has to be a better way, as I do.

My brothers and sisters all turned out to be wonderful human beings.  I think my mom had more influence on that than my dad but he more than did his part.  I wish I had additional time to spend with them as I head back to Boulder today feeling like this stay was much too short.  I look forward to spending more time with my family in the future.  They do mean a lot to me even as it seems our lives grow further apart.  I hope one day in the future I get some extended time with each one of them so we wan share more of each other.  Families do matter and I wish to enjoy the person they have become shaped by the life they lead.  

What matters most about your connection to your family?  Are they part of your life?  I hope the unconditional love that is part of most families is something you all share together.