I had a massage from Heidi our very intuitive, healer, massage therapist friend Saturday. She worked with me in a way that helped me gained some insights and understanding about parts of the past I was holding onto. I was recently in Oregon for my dad’s 80th birthday and I had some more of the puzzle fall into place. This puzzle was about how I was getting in my own way in life. Heidi’s bodywork and questions assisted me in linking my past with my present.
It seems my Dad had more of a limiting affect on me than I realized. That is not meant to blame my father but to look at how I interpreted his life from my child eyes and experiences. I was the oldest of 6 children and as each brother or sister came along Dad seemed to go away more. He became a very busy citizen, community leader, Rotarian and worked lots of hours. I am sure he was doing what he felt necessary to provide for us. He was also clearly overwhelmed at home and seemed to try to put a damper on all the energy that flowed with all of us kids. My guess was he was trying to figure out how to survive the chaos he had created.
As I look back he did not seem happy about his work or his life at home. I at some mostly unconscious level decided I didn’t want anything to do with the life he created. I have no children (although as a therapist, I have worked at re-parenting many people over the years). I have not joined any of the civic organization my dad joined. I am more introverted and dad was more extraverted. He is conservative in his politics and thoughts. I am liberal and progressive. His emotions are mostly contained and I feel more being intuitive and sensitive person. He worked hard and lots for money. I can’t seem to work for money, it has to be to help others.
Dad is just fine the way he is and I am just fine the way I am. There is however inside of me some limiting thoughts about my deserving, my being ok with not struggling like my dad. I am the anti of my dad’s unhappy times. However something I learned or interpreted along the way has blocked the flow of abundance that I feel I deserve. Excuse my complicated explanation but putting it clearly into words is something I am still sorting out myself.
I am writing all of this as a way to share with you that even after all these years of deep inner work with myself and the many I have helped, I still have further growth to accomplish. I am confident that you do also. Here is what I am going to do to encourage the growth and opening I want and need:
• I am going to focus on my own inner peace through meditation
• I am going to use EFT/Tapping (If interested, do a search at Tap Into Heaven.com to find out more) for some inner reprogramming
• I am going to journal about my new insights
• I am going to look for positive results and celebrate the further opening.
• I will continue to seek the feedback of others.
• I am going to open more fully to the power and energy of my potential to fully express myself
• I am going to open to the flow and the effortless possibilities as if I fully deserve.
What are you going to do to move yourself forward to the next level of your fullest and highest expression. Life is an experiment, what life testing would your benefit from? Let me know if I can be of assistance.
(In July I am going to write a series of articles about how you and I can make this month a real time of personal independence from our past, our limiting ideas and beliefs, our emotional blocks and anything else inside that might be keeping us from being free, from fully expression the greatness inside. The world needs all of us at our best so we can protect our planet and guide humanity down a enlightened path for the well-being of all of us.)