Freedom has been on my mind lately and it got me thinking about why I want freedom and from what? What kind of freedom do I want and is there something under the desire for freedom that is even more important? I don’t know the answer to these questions but I intend to find out.
Let me tune into my heart first to listen to what kind of guidance is there about wanting freedom. It has for a very long time been a challenge for me to work 40 hours a week for someone. Presently the work I do is stimulating and rewarding but not enough to make me want to work full-time. The pay for this job is more like a half-time job anyway. The pay is not the issue, it the freedom to create my day unbounded by someone else owning my time. For now this arrangement will be ok because the people I work with are quality people that I value and I believe they value me. Still the call for freedom is strong in me and that call will need to be answered one of these days.
In my thinking, I link freedom to having the financial resources to not need to work for money sake. This my be faulty thinking? Yet that urge for more money seems to be part of the deep-rooted desire for freedom that calls me. If I didn’t have the need for the money would I still be at this job. The answer is clearly that if I had the resources, I would quit working there but would then commit to volunteering there every week.
My work, although intense and energetically challenging, is rewarding because I get to try and make a positive difference in people’s lives. This particular work environment does fill my purpose and gives me full freedom to be me as a helping professional. So my longing for freedom here is a mixed bag. Maybe my desire for freedom is more than having my hours of the week back because there are other meaningful things going on that I value?
Under that desire for freedom, there is an inkling that a greater longing lies under the surface. What that calling is seems beyond what I am yet clear about. Let me go for a walk and see what clarity I can listen for as the colder night ascends on Boulder. I will let you know what I discover.
Back from the walk, I felt the presence of my Higher Self and heard its guidance. There is a part of me, my Spirit that longs to be free of the normal human restraints of a limited body, a too noisy mind, the old limiting beliefs/patterns/memories, the slowness of travel, the need for money, social structures lacking more consciousness etc. I want to be free to see myself in Assisi or Maui and be there. I want to fix all the broken ideas that limit human beings so compassion rules. I want to play golf, do art-work, goof off, go for a road trip, have a nice garden, eat what I am hungry for, play more with Bobbi and Pax and so much more whenever it feels like doing those things.
Yes to some this may all sound self-centered but that is just a judgment. I have desires, which are calling me to express myself even more fully and the things I do from that calling are just right for me if I listen to my intuitive knowing. What is calling you inside? What freedoms do you desire? Are you held back by your own limits or is just being human limiting you?
We’ll continue to further explore these ideas soon. Have a good start to the week.