Being Mindful Allows Awareness

Last night on a drive back from the store I caught a suspiciously familiar thought rambling through my mind. This thought was one of taking it easy, slowing down, and living in a kind of “it doesn’t matter” way.  As I thought it and caught it, I then said to myself this is an inner message that is in some way about playing it safe. If I don’t get too invested in what I am doing it doesn’t matter much what happens.

As I write this my next thought was about how my life could go from a purpose driven passion for making a difference to a not caring so much if I do or don’t. The interesting thing is that both are true.  As I grow my conscious awareness I feel not as concerned about or attached to results because there is less and less ego involved.  Yet what is also true is that I feel this is an important time for making a difference.  I want to make a difference. I feel it needs to be done with passionate intention and actions that create positive results.

This passivity permeates my thoughts about a job.  I am not interested in a job where I work for anyone especially full-time.  The confines of those experiences make me feel trapped as if my freedom has been taken away. That means I have to make something happen so I have the financial flow I want. This brings up questions about if I have enough drive to do so.  There is no shortage of drive in me if I set the course and move into action.  The commitment is the question which I am sorting out as I explore these insights.

How do I go about creating myself out in the world and make a living doing it? What I also noticed as I explore the initial insight was that I have mixed feeling about traveling because sitting in front of my computer is easier. It is like I want to play it safe and do everything from the stress free environment of my home and computer.  It is time to get out into the world in more dynamic ways but it is easier to take it easy. 

My work is about spreading light and love, consciousness and compassion in whatever way I can.  It is also as a social change agent working for a better world.  I am passionate about peace, about helping those in need, about questioning limiting thoughts and beliefs, and about bringing more heart and awareness into the world.  How with my set of skills and experience do I best interact with the world?  How can I make the biggest difference? How do I live this purpose with boldness and not be too attached to results?  How do I bring more aliveness to what I do?  Lots of questions and that feels right because I too am in the process of change like the rest of the world.

Have a good weekend.