Yesterday the topic was self-doubt and ideas about ways to find more self-acceptance. I have been thinking off and on about this blog since posting it and several further questions have come to mind. Do we really need to go searching for self-acceptance is a question that I have? Isn't self-acceptance what we are born with and society conditions that out of us? How come we humans spend the first 6 to 12 years learning to doubt who we are and then the rest of our lives trying to reclaim our natural belief in self? Is there something wrong with this process?
If our parents didn't feel ok with who they were, wouldn't they teach us not to feel ok with who we are? If schools are based on success and failure then wouldn't many people feel like they are a failure or at least not very good? If churches are built on the ideas of sin and guilt wouldn't we be trained to feel like we are wrong or not ok? I ask these questions because it seems to me that something is wrong if our major influences are focused on the negatives of being human rather than on the positives.
Imagine a world where: parents believed in themselves and loved their children unconditionally without the need to make them feel bad; a world where schools only taught children how to succeed in whatever topic they were studying and the need for grades disappeared in favor of growing healthy self-accepting young people; a world where churches only taught the lessons of a loving and compassionate God who only wanted the best for all human beings. Could it be that we human have gotten it all wrong and that if we straighten out our thinking, our education and our beliefs then all of this could be cleared up?
As a professional that has worked in the fields of psychology, mental health, addictions and education for over 35 years, I would say it is time to make major shifts in how we teach our children. If we start now the next generation of parents will do a much better job at raising healthy human beings.
Education especially early childhood education must develop a curriculum based on teaching children to believe in themselves and to learn at the pace they need to be successful. If there are children failing then the system is a failure.
Religious education is based on a set of beliefs. Many of these beliefs need to be questioned because they are beliefs created by humans who very likely lacked self-acceptance or had some limited notion of who God is. This is the trickiest of the reforms I am suggesting. I encourage everyone to look at the beliefs they have and ask these question: Are the beliefs you have working for you or not? Are your beliefs those of men or Divine in nature? Are those beliefs based on the basic teaching of all religions, the universal teaching of loving your fellow human beings?
Together let’s change the world by encouraging the best in each other.
Do You Believe In Yourself?
What makes people like Tiger Woods, The Dalai Lama, Barack Obama, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Eckhart Tolle, Oprah and other impactful people different than you and I? One is that they are well known by many who follow their particular stories. We don’t have that kind of notoriety. Maybe they are recognized because they believe in themselves and therefore others believe in them?
Where does believing in oneself come from? How come most of us are filled with so much self-doubt? Have you ever known someone who really believes in who they are? Can believing in self and humility go together?
You learn to believe in yourself or have self-doubt from an early age. By the time school comes around your family has already influenced your sense of self. Then school happens and for many self-doubt really grows. If church is part of your upbringing then most likely you have even more self-doubt. Is self-doubt caused more by your thoughts and your emotions or by the world around you?
When you are a child, you are influenced by the messages of adults around you because you are trying to figure out how to receive the approval of others. When an adult your sense of self is much more of an inside set of thoughts and not so much under the influence of others.
If you want to improve your sense of self and to feel more confident then you must know yourself. A healthy sense of self comes most from paying attention to your thoughts, your self-talk, your emotions and your own spirit. This self-awareness allows you to better understand your uniqueness and if you are accepting of who you are then you are able to believe in yourself.
Key aspects of self-acceptance include:
• Knowing how you feel is self-validating
• Living with purpose gives you direction and meaning
• Expressing your uniqueness is liberating
• Directing your self-talk to be supportive allows more success
• Listening inward to your higher knowing will guide you to the life you desire
• Paying attention to your spirit helps you live a satisfying life
• Opening your heart fills your life with love
• Trusting your intuition sets you free and opens your life up
• Caring for your body, keeping fit and healthy gives you a strong foundation
• Having compassion for your challenges makes your journey more confident
• Setting for yourself clear intentions will drives your actions in ways that assure greater success
• Allowing silence to nurture you will open you to the greater mysteries of human possibilities
• Seeking consciousness will open the doorways to your highest expression
• Expressing yourself creatively will liberate your uniqueness and brighten the world around you.
Start today with this thought, “I fully and completely accept myself and this gives me true freedom to be.”
Are You Part Of The Working Class For The Rich?
Do you get the idea that Americans are fed up and restless? It seems there is a general distaste for Washington DC politics. I suspect President Obama is quickly tiring of the endless posturing in favor of the status quo. The Congress seemed to be spineless lapdogs of the past administration and now they seem to battle most changes proposed by the administration. I suspect several reasons for that.
First reason is that there is really only one party in Washington DC and that party is the Money Influenced Party. Bush and Cheney represented the money interests so Congress followed right along like sheep. President Obama is more of a champion for the people and makes decisions as to what is for the best of all. This questioning the establishment makes everyone in DC uneasy because it threatens their funding by the forces of money.
The second reason is those in Congress have no idea how to turn the economy around and therefore are afraid to go away from the standard operating procedures of free market, tax breaks to corporations and the rich. Up until now we have been running the nation according to the faulty trickle down economy of Reagan. This economy of the making the rich richer and then we get what they spread around (trickles down from their vast fortunes) is a joke for most Americans. The great legacy passed on from Reagan now has caused a crisis in confidence because the mess it has created. Bush and crew driven by greed and hunger for power made this ridiculous economy even more of a mess.
People should be angry and feed-up as far as I can see. They have been used as a working class to help make the rich richer. Corporations over the years have been cutting benefits, expecting more hours at work and constraining wages in name of the profits margins. They say they have to make money for their stockholders. Guess who owns by far the most stock. The rich own the majority of most stocks in this country. Most Americans have very few shares if any at all in comparison.
What is your take on why people are angry and so restless? How do you feel about the past 8 years? Has your life gotten easier and less stressful or more challenging and harder to make things work?
Nothing short of a major shift is in order and frankly those in DC are not wanting this to happen. It is the people and a willing president that can make this shift happen. It will take patience and time but we can succeed issue by issue from health care reform to banking reform, from shrinking corporate influence to protecting our planet, from repairing education to ending the absurd idea the wars are a rational option. There is much to do and we are the ones to make it happen.
Let’s put an end to the people being a working class for those in control of the money and bring the nation back under our the control of the people. A nation where reasonable housing, healthy food, beneficial education, real healthcare and good opportunities are available to everyone will be a nation that returns to peace and health.
Turn Off The News And Listen To Your Heart
If you pay attention to the news lately you may find it difficult to keep optimistic. There is so much political drama going on and the particularly partisan ways of Republican Party seem set on continuing the disastrous policies of the past administration. All of a sudden the Media is attempting to hold our president accountable. What happened the last 8 years when they seem to have taken a sabbatical from investigative journalism? Dick Cheney is back playing Darth Vader trying to stir up fear in everyone. Even super Olympian Michael Phelps got caught doing something not very super and Kellogg’s Cereal won’t have him on their boxes.
Here are some things and situations you may have noticed that need to be questioned, explored, changed: People tend to get themselves in trouble when they get too much into the power and influence they have; Congress is full of examples of the influence of money over the legislative process; The Media is not liberal, it is corporate and they investigate what the corporations dictate for them to investigate; the noise machine of the Fox Network has no idea of what fair and balanced means; and the celebrity watch, opinion news and reality TV all blur the real stories of humans in need all over the world.
All of this is the drama of human ego’s unchecked by humility, unguided by a compassionate heart, narrowed by limited viewpoints, and lacking the consciousness of self-awareness. We are all much more capable and those capacities need to be explored and expressed:
• We need more humor and laughter.
• We need more real stories of people and their lives not the made up ones of Joe the Plumber.
• We need compassion for the struggles we all feel.
• We need to turn off the TV’s and start to listen inward to the higher guidance available to us.
• We need to take care of our own health by unclogging our minds from the chaos of the made for TV drama of nightly news.
• We need to walk in nature and feel the expansiveness of our own nature.
• We need to dream big with large doses of hope and clear intention.
• We need to open our hearts to love and giving in our lives and on a global level. (Would there really be scary people out there if there was real love, enough food and good education?)
• We need to be kind to our own self and live more according to our desires of purpose and personal expression.
• We need to move beyond the blaming and complaining and instead find where we can make a difference.
Have a good weekend and invite yourself to grow more fully into who you can be.
Should You Watch Your Thoughts?
It was my wife’s birthday yesterday and it was a big one for her, I can’t say which one. She is a wonderful partner and friend for me so I feel blessed to share this occasion with her. We came together later in life when so much of the craziness of our younger years was already worked through. This maturity from the personal growth of many years being on the planet enables us to share much love and support for each other.
Do you ever wonder what brings people together? Is it chemical magic, a sexual impulse, a past lives thing, open-heart timing, desire manifesting, divine intervention or what? I have always wondered what brings people together to love each other. Why or how do you think people come together?
Really how does anything really come about in our lives? The reason I ask is because I have a suspicion that we are better at manifesting what we desire than we may realize. Whether we make things happen consciously or not aren’t we always manifesting, is an important question in my mind.
What if you look around and realized that everything in your life came because of your thoughts or desires? There might be things and situations that you clearly intended, or things you made happen by accident or negative thinking. Would you watch your thoughts and the related emotions if you knew they shaped your every experience? Of course you would as best as you could.
Well I want to suggest to you that your thoughts definitely shape your experience of life. If you are optimistic and intentional, you will shape a positive and successful life. If you are fearful and negative, you will find yourself in the midst of a chaotic or disappointing existence.
Try this simple experiment through the weekend. Focus your thoughts on positive experiences like love, joy, peace, freedom, relief, health, compassion, understanding, success and other optimistic ways of being in the world. Notice how your overall since of yourself and the world is affected.
I can predict with confidence if you keep your mind on the positive, on feeling good the results will make you want to keep aware of what your thinking. The more you channel your thoughts looking towards what you want, the more you will find yourself living those desires.
Are You Rigid Or Flexible?
Yesterday I indulged in a political rant here at my blog and I need to do that every once in awhile to blow the carbon out of the pipes. Yes being positive is the happiest way of being, but there are times I get fed up with things and if I don’t let it out then I tighten up. Being uptight is now the way to be when the world is spinning at a rate that has us humans running around like chickens with their heads cut off. These times call for flexibility of the mind, body and emotions.
It is difficult at times to break through your old thinking patterns. A rigid mind means you are unable to expand into new ways of thinking or understanding. When you think you already know and don’t question as you go, then you develop huge blind spots. With blind spots you will find life will sneak up on you like a 2x4 to the side of the head. Closed minds create suffering.
Flexible minds bend and expand as the need arises. If you are able to grow then you are able to live life more and more fully. When you come upon a challenge the flexing mind is able to adapt, to explore and to innovate in search of solutions.
Emotions that are protected and fear-based shrink from life. The closing down of the heart leaves people feeling disconnected and isolated. If feelings are pushed down they eventually will erupt in the form of a volcano of expression or turn into a health disruptive machine.
Expressed emotions make you feel alive and robust. When you let yourself and the people around you know how you feel you liberate yourself to live fully in the moment. Your heart is the emotional center of the feeling body. A feeling heart is full of compassion, caring, love and a true joy to experience. Even the most difficult feelings, when allowed to be felt, will come and go with out too much effort.
The rigid body breaks down under the pressure of life. Those who have lost flexibility eventual loose their ability to play, to dance, and to move about lightly and freely. A tight body feels wound up and unable to have fun doing anything. If uptight, the body’s immune system is compromised and illness begins to linger at the door.
The flexible body moves freely and easily. If you keep your body loose you will bend with the ups and downs of life, feel grounded, and weather the storms of difficult change. A body in motion can be a dance of expression, the grace of an athlete, the playfulness of the child within, or the weekend warrior trying to out fox your competition. A healthy body feels like real freedom.
Practices that greatly enhance your flexibility include: yoga, tai chi, stretching, mindfulness, meditation, acts of kindness, exploring new ideas, looking at life from other points of view, feeling your emotions without judgment, letting your heart express with courage, and sometimes just being in silence and with an openness to seeing yourself and the world with the joy of an explorer.
Take A Stand For Peace; End War Now
We must stop killing each other. I just read that there are still missile attacks going on in Pakistan by the US government. We all know there is still the war in Iraq causing more deaths. There is still the war going on in Afghanistan, which has always been a quagmire of death to those who think they can win there. We must stop this taking of lives for whatever the reason we are given. These wars seem less about terrorism and more but about the US asserting control over other nations. No matter what the male/ego driven rationalizations are these are all crimes of murder. Our US Government is in the business right now of killing other human beings. Is that Ok with you?
I am a huge fan of President Obama but I do not support the continued killing of others in the name of war. We must bring an end to these wars immediately. This insanity of war must be stopped any way we can make it happen. We can bring the United Nations in with joint forces and begin a withdrawal ASAP. The mess in the Middle East did not ever need a war but our past leadership lied our ways into it and now we must have the intention and make a plan to leave this occupation.
If we humans place such value on life, how come it was so easy to rationalize starting a war? That seems like a contradiction or a real lack of belief in our values. Real change has to include the end of wars and killing other human beings. Anything less falls so sadly short of what humans are capable of doing.
Together all of us opposed to wars must demand they come to an end. The experts who say this will take time, are not sitting there on the front lines and their decisions models are flawed by human ego and the false pursuit of power over others. They may say they are concerned what will happen if they leave now but they are obviously not interested in what is best for the Iraqi people because they have killed so many innocent ones and displaced many more.
Please join me and everyone else who believes in the human capacities for peace, compassion, consciousness and understanding. Write, call, email your elected officials and the President and say clearly we believe in our fellow humankind and insist that you bring this murderous war on terrorism to end now.
Take a stand for peace today and demand our government to act peacefully in the future. Checkout our peace org at www.peace-together.com and wear a message of peace today.
What's Inside Waiting To Come Out?
As the day winds down, I am sitting in front of my computer and writing my blog for tomorrow. I often put together my ideas and sometimes write the complete blog and then edit it the next day. Tonight I sit here unsure what I am going to write but the words seem to keep on coming out. They come to me just before my fingers put them up on the screen. I have come to trust this process of intuitive writing and it feels fresh and unrehearsed.
I share my way of going about writing this blog with you because I want to encourage you to also learn to trust your own process; you own unique way of expressing yourself. As I write this I just now got a glimpse of what I want my focus to be on for my blog today. Let’s look at why it is important for you to develop your own style and to express your own uniqueness.
I don’t mean clothing style. I mean your own way of being in the world. Why is you being you as fully as possible important to the greater good of the planet? Yes you and your expression can alter the direction of humanity. Hasn’t Barack Obama being who he is already cause some significant shifting in this country and around the world? What about Bill Gates, hasn’t he shifted so many people’s lives with his money and his giving? How about Oprah and her TV show and it’s positive affect on some many people’s thinking? How about your children, haven’t they shifted your view of yourself and the world? These are all people who express themselves in unique and wonderful ways.
Is there a special person in you? Of course there is. How will that be articulated in this lifetime? Will you hold out and live less realized to play it safe? Will you take risks and move out of your comfort zone? Will you step past your fears or give into them? Will you play to win or play not to loose?
You can tell if you are stoking your inner fire because you feel the stomach gurgling, the emotions roller coasting, your thoughts racing, and your impatience growing by the minute demanding that you let loose and jump into action. Without a doubt you feel passionate and alive. You also feel as if you are doing what you came to this life to do and be. Isn’t it great to feel free enough to be fully who you are in the moment?
Do you feel the shift happening inside? Are you uneasy enough to know that change is stirring your mind, your heart and your soul? Isn’t it fun to know the mystery of who you are wants so come out and play? You will know when you are dancing the edge because joy will be playing across your face and drumming in your heart.
Surviving or Thriving, What Will It Be?
Over the weekend my wife and I got together with a group of old friends from my past place of work. It was so great to see them and get caught up on how they were all doing. There was so much laughter and enjoyment and it all seemed like the perfect kind of evening. Old friends are a very precious gift and I look forward to when we can all enjoy each other’s company again.
The hosts for the evening unfortunately were both out of work; they however were very generous in putting together appetizers and a wonderful meal. They had a prosperous attitude even there things must feel very uncertain to them. My thought was afterwards that this attitude was one of trust in things working out and a belief in themselves. I had great respect for them holding such a point of view.
Lately as I travel through the town I live in, it seems like there are more and more businesses closing down, as there appears to be lots of available retail space. The economy slow down is impacting people everywhere. My question is can people find a way to not only survive but also thrive in these times? It seems like positive thoughts and actions will be a key factor.
What kinds of thoughts and ideas make the most sense when what around us looks to be struggling? Here is what makes the most sense to me:
• You have to believe in yourself and your ability to not only survive but to succeed even in the midst of such change. The allowing of the best outcome is possible if you believe in who you are and where you are going.
• Keep your thoughts focused on what you want, not on what you might call the reality of the situation. Be positive not realistic. If you have an optimistic outlook then good things can follow. If you focus on what is “real” then you thoughts are limiting you. Positive thoughts create positive outcomes.
• Focus on what you desire not on what you don’t have. The more you get clear about what matters to you, the more you are able to energize yourself. Having a big positive charge from your thoughts and emotions will drive you forward in uncertain times.
• Have positive emotions to charge up your success. Emotions are the driving energy, the passion of purpose, the joy of full expression, the relief of knowing you are making things happen. Emotions begin as thoughts and transform into the energy of creation.
• Take time to listen inward to the knowing that exists in you and every human being. There is a collective consciousness in you waiting to inform all your decisions. There is this innate wisdom that comes packaged in our cells and consciousness whose source is the Creative Force of the Universe. Tune it and let this knowing guidance show you the way every day.
Have a good week and enjoy the flow of knowing available to you and be the success you are meant to be.
Super Bowl Sunday and Things To Read And Think About
This is more of Sunday update on several things going on, reading and some thoughts. It is Super Bowl Sunday, are you into it or not? Professional sports seem less and less relevant to me but this game has my interest because of the very unexpected Cardinals. It is fun to watch when the collective energy of a team rises above expectations. That collective rising is something I hope we all do in this country and together there is no limit to all we can accomplish. Go Cardinals, go Americans!
I have been reading two very interesting and helpful book. The first one, I mentioned before is Money and Law of Attraction by Abraham-Hicks. This book has been the source of great inspiration to me and has greatly influenced my blog writings for the past month or more. I highly recommend getting a copy and reading and studying this book until you receive the full benefit from these ideas.
The second book is called, The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. This is a very interesting study about happiness. I find myself having insights regularly as I read this book about places much different than our country where they enjoy life in their own unique ways. This book is a good read and will enrich your perspective on how to find more happiness however and wherever you live your life.
My final visitor tally for my blog this month reached to just over 16,000. My best ever number of readers and I feel very positive about my dedication. I am just coming up on 700 posts here. I write to express myself, to encourage the best in people and to spread consciousness and progressive ideas. I feel real joy in the freedom to intuitively write and thoughtfully share ideas.
Welcome to February and to the possibilities that await you in this month ahead. Positive change is definitely in the air and I hope you get to experience good things flowing this month. Can you feel the door ways opening, the mind opening, the heart opening, the stream flowing, the joy expanding, the freedom in you expressing itself, and your uniqueness being realized as this month opens your life to even more of what you want? Have a very inspired next 28 days.
An Experiment In Appreciation
Saturday morning is always a day for me to start our slow. During the week I am up at 7:15 a.m. to write. So on the weekend, I like to sleep in and read before I get up. That feels like a luxury to me. The simple things in life sometimes feel the best. Life has gotten way too complicated these days. I prefer keeping it uncomplicated and taking it easy.
What my wife and I have been noticing lately is that changing old patterns can be quite complicated. We both see there are thoughts and old grooves in our reaction to the world that we want to move in a more attractive direction. Attractive direction means attracting what we want in life and we see our thoughts and emotions as obstacles at times. As a therapist I can confirm that we get in our own way much more than anyone else does.
Recently I was working with a client that couldn’t change her mind about her alcohol use and now she is back out using and in a mess again. She was her own worst enemy even with lots of help; she couldn’t leave her limited thoughts behind.
Breaking from our old thought, feeling and behavior patterns takes a clear intention and near constant focus. I suggest you join my wife and I in an experiment:
Choose something simple or small that you want to attract into your life, maybe it is: contact from an old friend you have lost touch with, extra money for a weekly massage or some new books to read, quiet time to contemplate a deeper connection to your spirit, membership in a gym and a friend to workout with or whatever would indicate that you have attracted something into your life that you really wanted.
Now sit down and write out how much you appreciate having this desired outcome in your life as if it is already there. Feel how it would feel to have what you want. Feel the joy of manifesting this desire. Imagine how enriched your life has become from having this new addition to your life. Feel the relief of knowing you can make things happen that your really want.
Keep this imagining practice going noticing your thoughts and making sure they are positive and supportive. Be patient, let this experiment have all the time it needs to percolate and come into your life. If you allow, it will happen.
Let me know how it goes. I will keep you updated on how well our experiment works out. Please feel free to leave comments or to email me directly with your questions at explorelifeblog@inbox.com
Healthy Practices In Challenging Times
This month was my best ever for traffic to my blog. I am excited that over 15,000 people have checked out what I am writing about. These times are very interesting at so many levels. What I share are ideas about making it through the jungle of life and still keep your mind intact, your heart open, your body healthy and your spirit explored.
During these challenging times my concern is that you take good care of yourself in the midst of the stress.
This is what I am working on to keep myself healthy in these times and I want to share these with you so that you can consider using them yourself:
• Don't take anything personally. If a person, business, organization or government is not following through or being difficult, don't let it ruin your day. Let nothing knock you off course as far as keeping positive and hopeful.
• Trust in your own plan for a better life and know that things are progressing. Just keep on following through with your intentions and know your efforts will create the results you feel passionate about.
• Take time to interact. If you feel really concerned about someone or a particular situation, sit down with them and take some time to listen, usually beyond the troubled person there is a human being who just wants to be heard. Compassionate listening is a powerful tool and can transform even the most difficult situations.
• Breath with awareness. If you get too caught up in the worry and hurry, and it is easy to do, take time to be mindful of your breath. In just a few minutes of this practice you can release the charged up emotions and come back into balance.
• Make your focus about creating freedom and having love and joy in your life. Nothing matters more than these qualities and when you have them nothing feels better. You were born to have joy, to feel love and to be free to live the life you want to live.
And don’t forget to have fun, eat good food, exercise enough to feel healthy and express your own uniqueness in some way every day.
Have a good weekend!
Feel the Joy of Freedom
The close of January is coming quickly, how are you doing at getting your life going in the direction you want it to go? What successes have you had? What are you doing that is working? How is your life shifting for the better? What are you most grateful for in 2009 so far?
These questions are important because it is always a good idea to keep track of your efforts and to appreciate the positive results. I have noticed so far this month that I have been feeling more joy and freedom. This improved state of mind and heart seems to come from my emphasis on joy and freedom as what I most want to create in my life. As I pursue a joyous life, I seem to find more of it. As I seek more freedom, I feel freer.
My emotions play a big part in the shift that happens. Lately my focus on being joyous in life helps me feel light and appreciative of what is going on. As I let go of my own expectations, I seem to be more present and without restrictions. This makes life much more enjoyable. When I feel positive things just work out better.
Today I suggest your try the following visualization to loosen up the flow of what you want into your life:
Imagine yourself living this amazing life, full of what you want. You have the freedom of a rich flow of money, vibrant health, peace of mind, great success and lots of love and joy. You have a home you enjoy and relationships that matter. You feel alive and inspired by what you do. You make a positive difference in the world.
Now feel how it would feel to have this wonderful life, feel the joy, feel the peace, feel the excitement, feel the energy, feel the freedom as if you have no limits and can do what you want. Feel how great this all feels. Feel the relief of total freedom to fully be who you want to be.
The more positive emotions you get rolling the more you vibrate as a level where you make things happen as you want them to come about in your life.
Yes what a joy it is be to be fully who your really are.
Emotional Well-Being For You
Emotional self–awareness can be a bit tricky at times. Almost all of us are raised to ignore our emotions especially the challenging ones as if there is something wrong with us for feeling the way we do. Our families, schools, churches all teach us to contain our emotions even the positive ones. The great rational mind is much less trustworthy about the truth than is the rainbow of emotions inside of us. There is often amazing pressure to stuff how you feel so you can fit in. As we get older we either become increasingly out of touch with how we feel or at some point we decide to tune in more for great self-awareness.
This kind of conditioned repression of our emotions has had a negative affect on most of us and I sometimes think the cause of many of the problems of our world. Let’s focus on the personal affects of being out of touch with how we feel. If we are unaware of our feelings we are missing out on essential information key to creating a life of joy, freedom and personal expression. Our emotional guidance system tells us very clearly when we are on course or off course. If we are feeling good about what we are doing then we are on course. If we feel uneasy then we need to re-evaluate where we are headed.
Positive feeling indicate that we are heading in the right direction; negative feelings indicate that we need to course correct. I know I just repeated what I said above. I did that because I want to make it very clear, that our emotions are very important and need to be paid attention to if we want to have the life we desire. The following are some ideas to encourage your greater emotional awareness:
• Take time to become aware of what you are feeling. You are constantly moving in and out of emotions. Get to feel what you are feeling.
• Your body and your heart are clear indicators of your emotional states. When your heart feels open or when it feels close are indicators of different emotions going on. Open heart = love. Closed heart = fear.
• Keep a feeling journal and note the range of emotions that may be flowing through you in a day. Use the following checklist to help you identify what you are feeling at any given moment
Positive Feelings
Intense - loved, adored, idolized, alive, wanted, lustful, worthy, respected, empathy, awed, enthusiastic, zealous, courageous
Strong - enchanted, ardor, infatuated, tender, vibrant, independent, capable, happy , proud, gratified, worthy, sympathetic, important, concerned, appreciated, consoled, delighted, eager, optimistic, joyful, courage, hopeful, valiant, brave, brilliant
Moderate - liked, cared for, esteemed, affectionate, fond, excited, patient, strong, gay, inspired, anticipating, amused, yearning, popular, peaceful, appealing, determined, pleased, excited, jolly, relieved, glad, adventurous, peaceful, intelligent
Mild - friendly, regarded, benevolent, wide awake, at-ease, relaxed, comfortable, content, keen, amazed, alert, sure, attractive, approved, untroubled, graceful, turned on, warm, amused, daring, comfortable, smart, interested
Negative Feelings
Mild - unpopular, listless, moody, lethargic, gloomy, dismal, discontented, tired, indifferent, unsure, impatient, dependent, unimportant, regretful, bashful, puzzled, self-conscious, edgy, upset, reluctant, timid, mixed-up, sullen, provoked
Moderate - suspicious, envious, enmity, aversion, dejected, unhappy, bored, forlorn, disappointed, wearied, inadequate, ineffectual, helpless, resigned, apathetic, shy, uncomfortable, baffled, confused, nervous, tempted, tense, worried, perplexed, troubled, disdainful, contemptuous, alarmed, annoyed, provoked
Strong - disgusted, resentful, bitter, detested, fed-up, frustrated, sad, depressed, sick, dissatisfied, fatigued, worn-out, useless, weak, hopeless, forlorn, rejected, guilty, embarrassed, inhibited, bewildered, frightened, anxious, dismayed, apprehensive, disturbed, antagonistic, vengeful, indignant, mad, torn
Intense - hate, unloved, despised, angry, hurt, miserable, pain, lonely, cynical, worthless, impotent, futile, accursed, abandoned, estranged, degraded, humiliated, shocked, panicky, trapped, horrified, afraid, scared, terrified, threatened, infuriated, furious, exhausted
I hope you find this list helpful. The more you know how you feel the better you can steer your life in the right direction.
Let yourself feel and you will be fully alive.
Thank You President Obama, You Are Off To A Great Start
Have you felt the light again shining in Washington DC with the new inspired leadership of President Obama? He has hit the ground running full speed. This is what America needs after the incredibly dreary past eight years of war, torture, greed, deregulation, illegal spying on citizen, unchecked profits at any cost, corporate dishonesty, a Congress totally asleep at the wheel, secret prisons, lost legal rights, an executive branch with no real moral compass, endless advantages exclusively to the rich, unchecked abuse and harm to the planet, a ruined reputation around the world, and the complete ignoring of what was for the good of the people.
No wonder everyone was feeling out of sorts. The gloom is being lifted. Can you feel yourself coming back alive? The challenges are yet still great to clean up the huge mess but we can now have hope again and together can weather the storm.
Yesterday the employment picture grew bleaker. Even the experts are unclear on how to fix the wreckage left by those in charge. Now however there is some one with a plan. His leadership appears to want to include everyone who is willing to join in to make things better. He has what is called a Big Tent approach asking people from all points of view to come together and heal the nation and the planet from the years of neglect and bad ideas.
That tent is big enough for every citizen. The president has made that clear. He is asking us all to join hands and go forward with a shared focus. Can you feel the power of his intention? Can you sense the good in all of us wanting to join in? Is there really anything we can’t take on and succeed? Do you really have any doubt in the greatness of human nature to rise to the occasion?
Today, pick a project that means something to you and lend some time or give some resources to move it forward. Pick up the phone and call your elected officials, give them support for ideas you believe in and cheer them on. Write the president and thank him for his great start and let him know you believe in the hope in his heart.
Then sit quietly with yourself and listen inward to your own heart and turn on the beacon of hope that is waiting to shine from you. The moment is right for your further evolution.
Thought Watching
On my run yesterday I thought about the blog I had just written about struggle. The reason the topic came to mind was that I ran up for about 40 minutes on snowy roads and trails and it certainly could have been difficult. What made it a joy was pacing myself and enjoying the silence and beauty of nature on a snowy day and also the 40 minutes cruising back down. With the help of my thoughts I made my run a pleasure.
Thoughts shape your experience. If you can watchfully observe your thoughts, you can choose to change them when they take you in directions that won’t work for you. As I write often, thoughts of blaming and complaining make you feel lousy; thoughts of kindness and caring make your feel good. That all seems clear enough doesn’t it?
Here are a few of ways I have learned about watching my thoughts.
• An important rule for me in thought watching is to not judge my thoughts as good or bad. Instead I find it important to observe without condemnation or approval. I am observing my thoughts and considering whether they work for me or not. Watching in fairness to myself makes it easier to pay attention.
• Listening means taking time to hear what my thoughts are saying. This is easiest when I slow down and clear away distractions. If I have the TV or radio, or Shuffle on I am too distracted. Driving, walking, running, biking, waiting in line in silence are great times to listen in. The more I listen in the more I tend to want to do more of it.
• Self-discovery comes from my desire to be more aware and conscious. I know the more I know what I think the more I can shape my life so I am very dedicated to impartially listening in. It feels so positive to grow in self-awareness. Insight is a powerful reward for being tuned-in to self.
• Mindful practices like meditation, walking meditation, conscious breathing and other practices are very helpful. The more I am present through these kind of disciplines the more I can notice what is going on inside. Being fully present to my thoughts and the world around me makes for a positive life experience.
Take some time in the next few weeks to listen in and get to know the quality of your thoughts. The ideal is to have your self-talk be positive, supportive and encouraging otherwise you are getting in your own way.
Does It Have To Be A Struggle?
It is snowing here this morning and I am trying to get myself motivated to go for a run. This is my long run up on the mountain trails day so I will be out there in 20-degree weather for over an hour. I enjoy pushing myself for fitness and when tired I love the downhill to the finish. In the past I have talked about going with the downstream flow of life as a better option to the struggles we put ourselves through trying to battle against the current.
This battle against the current starts in the mind where you and I place ourselves at odds with our tasks, work, loved-ones, etc. There is really nothing to struggle against unless you have the thought that this is a battle you have to wage. Take a moment to tune in right now and ask yourself: where in your life do you feel struggle? Is the struggle real or is it more in your mind? The answer if you are truly honest is within you.
Yesterday I wrote about self-discovery and your mind. Today I am inviting you to get to know yourself better by identifying where your thoughts get in your own way. Where do your thoughts hold you back by believing it is better to fight upstream and succeed than it is to find you way to go with the flow of an abundant life? There is this heroic battling journey of the mind we get invested in and that is called the ego. Then there is the more intuitive journey of joy and freedom. Which would you rather have?
Humans are such creatures of our upbringing and societal influence. As you grow up you learn from the struggles of your family, the competition of school, about fighting the internal evils from church, and other lessons and you think you life will be about trying to make it through all the barriers inside and out. These lessons, each one of them, need to be questioned. As an adult you will do much better in life if you see how these learned perspectives need to re-examined. The more you look at how you view things, the freer you will be to create the life you want.
This may seem kind of complicated this thought watching / critical thinking process. It can be if you make an effort out of it. My suggestion is that through your day you become mindful of your thoughts, you get to know what is going on in your head. This process takes some time but it can be enlightening and enjoyable. The enjoyable part is that you get to know yourself and the silliness of your thoughts and that can be entertaining. The enlightening part is that the more you know who you are, the more you can consciously create the life you desire.
I hope to bring greater clarity to this discussion as we go along. Simply put, my point today is that if you get to know how you think, you can do much to free yourself of your struggles in life. All struggles come from thoughts and you can always change your thoughts.
The Benefits of Self-Discovery
Do you ever wonder why your life is as it is? Have you ever felt there was more to you then you have yet expressed? Are you who you really are? These are important questions if you want to feel happiness and freedom in your life. The process of self-discovery is about knowing yourself and the kind of life that you want to experience. The following are a number of areas to explore for self-discovery and each of them can enrich the quality of your life.
Your mind is a fascinating instrument of creation and manifestation. What you focus on in your thoughts becomes your experience of life. If you focus on what isn’t going the way you want, you find more and more to complain about. If you focus on what you appreciate, what makes you feel good, and what fills you with aliveness, you live a life that is joyous and freeing. An open mind grows and expands in possibilities for happiness. A closed mind gets stuck in limited options and narrow viewpoints. A quiet mind that goes beyond the repetitive thought parade is able to hear your deeper truths.
Your heart is the center of your contact with the world. An open heart vibrates at a level of compassion and caring that draws much love into your life. A closed heart spreads a chill through your interactions and leaves you wanting. The heart is the feeling center. Feelings tell you when you are on target or off, when you are heading where you want to go, or taking a wrong turn. Your heart and emotions power you with passion and purpose or they lock you up with fear and resentment. A loving compassionate heart is a great treasure for all of humanity.
Your body is vibrating mass of energy and information. This moving force of aliveness can: take you around the world; make you a champion; be rocketed out into space; have you experience pleasure and pain, or quietly sit in consciousness. Your body is much more than a vehicle for your travels, it is filled with receptors, sensors, regulators and everything else that keeps you going and aware of your environment. A healthy cared for body can make your life a wonderful experience of joy and pleasure.
Your spirit is the part of you that existed before you the personality came along and it will continue after you have gone into your final resting place. Your spirit is unlimited and the source of your life force. It longs to soar freely and waits to guide you on how to do just that. The inner knowing, intuitive wisdom, and/or higher self are your connection to your spirit. Your spirit is one with the Source of the Universe. When you align with the wisdom of your spirit, you are totally and completely free to create the life you desire. Your spirit is unlimited and eternal and therefore a good friend to hang out with. As you become a more conscious human being you become more acquainted with your spirit. People who become aligned with their spirit are a true joy to be around.
Over the next few weeks I will share with you ways to deepen your self-discovery. My life’s path has been about this discovery of self and I want to share with you the joy and freedom of this journey.
When you have a pause in the actions of life the next few days take some time to just be with yourself free of distraction and see what there is to appreciate about the totally unique expression you are.
Should We Put People In Jail For Being Ill?
Yesterday was a very intense day at work where I have a client who not only has a serious drug problem but also some serious mental health issues. Most of my clients have a combination of these issues and usually we can work with them. Yesterday this client who was in obvious emotional distress had to be told that she may have significant mental health issues that are getting in the way of her recovery. We basically had to tell her she needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist but before that she needed to go back to jail so the probation people can get her the help she needs.
This jail stop is what happens when a state has a very low budget priority for those with mental health and addiction problems. The closing down of psychiatric facilities nation wide has turned jails into places where people with true illnesses get placed. They get put in jail because society feels uncomfortable with their behaviors. Laws get passed or interpreted that rationalize the imprisonment of those with mental health disorders and addiction to drugs and alcohol. This is imprisonment for being too ill for society to cope with your disease.
You may not be aware that about up to 80% of people who end up in jail or prison are victims of abuse. Many of the people in prison need treatment and being locked up will only cause their disease to get worse.
The imprisonment in the United States is growing all the time. Our country, based on freedom, has the highest percentage of the population locked up of all the other developing nations. Locking people up rehabilitates no one.
The reason I write about this today is because we as a nation have to look very carefully at what is most important as we go forward during this time of real change. Do we need to build more prisons or do we need to seek real help for most of the people that get locked up these days? This locking people up because they are ill seems heartless to me. What do you think? Where has true human compassion gone? Isn’t treatment and rehabilitation more cost effective and humane?
As I sit here writing, I feel for this client who was to go to prison but I also must chuckle a little. When she left to walk to the jail nearby a friend was there in his pickup and off they sped. His mental health issues may not be any better than hers but frankly jail seems like such a bad idea for someone who really could use some real care and extended treatment. Eventually the warrant put out for her will bring her back to jail but her stay there will most like turn this very upset person into even a less functioning member of society.
All of this ultimately is about the return of the human heart to leadership. Without compassion we are no better than the darkest of other governments. Think of a better way, of caring for all people who suffer. Think of a world guided by hope for even those that struggle mightily. Think of you and all of us with an open heart and busy doing acts of compassion. Wouldn’t the world feel so much better?
Is Your Mind Open?
Last night on CNN there was a video in which Rush Limbaugh said he hopes Obama fails. His mind is so closed that he would rather see our nation fail then go against the arrogance of his beliefs. I am sharing this because this kind of closed-minded, ego driven worldview is what got us in the mess we are in.
There is a clear lesson in this and that is a closed mind is a very sad waste of human potential. This kind of mind closes a person off from seeing the truth, from being able to learn and grow, and often blocks the heart from feeling anything but fear and anger.
An open mind is a great gift to humanity. An open mind makes it possible for us to grow and be more conscious. An open mind means an open heart and the ability to have compassion and caring for ourselves and others. An open mind is able to be creative and innovative. An open mind lets us understand what is truly important and what is the higher road to take.
How has you mind closed down? Is it important to you to be right or in control? Are you able to learn and grow? What excites your mind and makes you thing expansively?
The mind is a powerful human tool that when used right can bring about amazing innovation, thoughtful kindness, and positive change. The mind in waste is mired in a narrow viewpoint spinning itself like a top deeper into heartlessness. Which direction is your mind going? Is it contracting in a mistaken ego driven determination or is it expanding and growing in wisdom and awareness? Is your mind today opening or closing is the simple question.
If you want to take charge of your life, if you want to empower yourself to be successful in ways that make you feel joyous, if you want to experience true freedom, you must allow your mind to be as free and open as you can.
Always keep an open mind and a compassionate heart.
Phil Jackson
Where there is an open mind, there will always be a frontier.
Charles Kettering
Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
Thomas R. Dewar